I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
