Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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