If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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