We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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