:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm like, not good at living.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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