i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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