On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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