Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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