38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
