I hate all girls vehemently.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
