If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
