what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Still dying that you shit outside
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
