Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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