Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
