He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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