Where did you get a picture of my penis
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
