I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
