hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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