I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
