Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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