I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Randomize
