32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize