It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
