dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
