why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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