Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
