Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
