Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
