The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize