Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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