I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
