for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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