I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
