I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
