I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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