That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
