It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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