do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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