I'm eating all of the evidence.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize