Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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