ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
