i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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