Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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