please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
