So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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