another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
