i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
