there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize