About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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