Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
