i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
