I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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