As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
