i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
