Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
