I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
