So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
