But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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