Soap is not a condiment
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize