My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
