my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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