She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize