i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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