OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
