Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
