guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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