Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
