i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
