White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
