we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize