Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
