Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
