I could have mohawked her pubes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
