I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Holy shit dude........stairs
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