it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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