hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize